MY GALS

KIRSTEN:A person of beauty is joy for ever





"We are lucky cleopatra had a rebirth on april 9, 1990"


















"I Envy you Ben"
















"My female Orson welles"
























"I think I am really really falling for this one"

















"Who can ever forget their first love"















"She was my second too"

AVATAR:Damned if i knew how to make "genius" a cliche

The much awaited AVATAR ,marks the return of ace director James Cameron after a long hiatus.Last time he was seen making a grand epic with TITANIC,this time too the epic journey continues.It is a challenge to create a new world with entirely CGI and I admire James cameron for that,but what would be the new creation if it was just the recycled copy of the world we live in?.Pandora,the world were the na'vis live is an entire replica of the world live or a perfect recreation of our world if a green peace guy had been allowed to recreate it.Humans live in synchronization with nature.Energyflows between humans and other creatures they are interacting with,it is a bond we all share that weseem to have forgotten.Common you just recycle theories of conservatism and create a world?,whycan't the new world have been more mysterious?,Why should be the morals and the emotions should be thesame between a group of aliens and us?.Why should have it to be always bow and arrows with the gun?cliches everywhere,lacking in new ideas but still the visual impact is the same as when you see a dinosaurfor the first time in Jurassic park.Cameron is not spielberg,but atleast he tries.

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

Bloody well done Tarantino,is all I have got to say for this film,which is laced with humor and
edgy tension."Shosanna",who has every goddamn right in the goddamn world to hate the Nazis is
betrayed by one moment of sympathy towards the man in the nazi uniform ,costing her the life.The german who goes out to woo his lady with all his honor earned through the war ,and at the last moment reminding what he is,german at first,human the secondary.The bluff played with life and paid with life in a series of interrogations by the jew finder.Of all the things the best ,the ghost of Jewish girl jumping out of the screens to kill her hunters in a locked theater resembling the gas chamber stands out in this stylish film by the director.

Wallowing with self pity

I am turning back to my other self,preferable on being left alone rather than on being with company.I am not sure whether I am too weak to allow myself to feel hurt for every small thing,but when i am alone ,I feel no one has any chance to hurt me.I do not need any pretensions too when I am alone and that is part I feel most comfortable with.

Chetan bhagat's new one

2 states:The story of my marriage is the new book from india's prime time storyteller.Coming back from my obsession Of Prison Break ,I read the novel in two sessions mostly at night and today afternoon.The book does not indulge in the motives of character's actions but rather than on the action itself,such as how a marriage happens between two persons ,who are geographical opposites in a country where the tendency is to take the beaten path(bride-communnity1,groom too must belong to community 1).It is an Indian's identity to be first defined by his caste,then by his state,and last by his language.CB(chetan bhagat)in this thinly veiled auto biographical novel,the characters might well be chetan and his wife anusha,writes or rather speaks about how their marriage came to be.It involves krish ,the boy ananya ,the girl both travelling to meet each other's parents and convince them that they are the perfect romeo and juliet.The plot may be straight out of a tamil cinema movie,but where chetan scores is his ability to potray the difference between two sets of people,Punjabis who love talking and the tamil brahmins who love silence..The family that loves food and other THE HINDU.The generation before and the generation next.When the book rushes towards its stereotypical ending I am not sure whether I had become involved with the near real life story or the that they had suceeded in their marriage inspite of their obstacles,I just felt my mood uplifting.

GETTING IT OUT

Yesterday was the first day i had to regret my anger.It was heated debate involving the chennai superkings,who i despise even though i live in chennai and am a native.My acquaintance ,whom i cannot call a friend ,since my mood fluctuates too fast from a camaraderie feeling to outright anger when i am in his company,was a vociferous supporter of the home team.Five long minutes ,I knew I had lost control and was using abusive language against him."From whom i can expect reasonable argument ,I can only see an individual who is shaking with anger",these words though did not stop me ,but at least went through my head causing me to slow down.After a couple of minutes when our two friends had cooled us off,I started to regret ,what I had become within a space of five minutes.My shame was further compounded by the fact that my argumentative acquaintance came over within five minutes, "Why do we need to fight for these guys?" and offered hands.It was then only I could shake hands and say sorry.It was then I realized I had the inbuilt constitution of a coward,who is afraid to lose and hence uses abusive language in the same way people use power to quell a rising voice of reason.

Reflections' continued

The probability of minutes made me decide I could go to the bank and comeback to the class before the break,but you always know probability is not possibility and hence I had to miss my second lecture too.The day ended with me only attending the lab class.I had comeback to hostel and decided to go to my friend's room .Sometimes coincidences do happen and I get a sidelong glimpse of "she who must not be named",walking with a girl who is my classmate and a boy who is in the team conducting our national level technical Symposium.She of course fits exactly into the category of "motivated nerds" who are type of persons who excel in college,and the people who do not have even the smallest amount of "What am I doing in this college?" look.Calm ,confident,overachieving,maintaining relationship with likewise overachieving seniors,who of course my classmate is and always with a inner force that is always like a string pulling them towards what they intend to achieve.I dare not even look upon her face now lest my class mate sees me look at her and at some point you always know that the person you are watching is aware of your eyes and so I pretend I do not notice them and only after reaching a certain distance do I turn and see her back.Secretly glad of the second chance ,I reach my friends room.

Reflections'

What started as a hopeful day ended up leaving me ...... reflecting.Morning came to me at what time I do not know,but I was sure I had passed my 8:30 deadline(First lecture of the day).I wanted to make sure I could get
a glimpse of the angel ,"who must not be named",to start the day auspiciously. She comes out only during the breaks,I was running along to be outside our common class building ,reaching to find that my class was still going on ,which was not a surprise given that our lecturer is the HOD of our department ,who always insists on
enlightening the students and "enlightening" takes a long time.I peeked into the nearby class and to my dismay it was empty ,I sat down on the pavement opposite our class hoping for her to comeback for her next class.She came back and now I have the daunting challenge of looking at her ,without her catching me in the act.I would just stare around in circles ,noting the trees,buildings ,her face,classroom and then her face one more time.I was
sure I had got a glimpse of her face for two or three seconds which was most I was going to get for the day.She headed to classroom and I to my path towards broadening my engineerng horizon.

HURT

"When you are viewed by the person you care about as only just another cog in the wheel?,how do you feel?"

A NOVEL:

Being alone and being bored ,I decided to do something constructive ,I wanted to write a story.I thought of all the books i had read and decided I would not do FANTASY ,since whatever i would do
will always be derivative of the books i have read ,be it middle earth or magic.Then i thought about
crime thrillers and all i have is the knowledge of forensics and the locales of newyork and boston.
(harlan coben and dennis lehane).A local crime thriller is what i should try then,but alas i have been mostly locked away in the secure surroundings of hostels and theaters ,the only pepole i know are
students and much to my regret they do not have the motive or the ability to kill people.so the only choice i have now is a campus novel and now i understand why a debut novel is always a campus novel most of the time.

SHORT POST

I dont know why i am feeling depressed ,hoping for some cheer to break out and some energy bursting out of somewhere or some happy books to read.Pessimism in large quantities ,unless you are masoschistic is not good.Hope i get the guts ever to talk to the white angel

HIDDEN THOUGHTS

"I am happy for u",does this sentence means what is it suipposed to mean?.Noting the feelings of jealousy screaming out of everyone's heads including my own when one of our friend was within the top 15 eligible for the interview of a "Dream job" company ,why were everyone hiding their resentment into some statement of support.Is it necessary yo camaouflage emotions,so that the other person does not feel hurt?

WHAT THE FUCK CAN I SAY ABOUT HIDDEN THOUGHTS

FUCKIN CRAZY

I dont know what is coursing through me .I dont care to elaborate,but this year is turning to be one hell of a stress ride.Uncertainties(jobs),careers laid in front asking me to take a road ,but i am always left wondering about the road not taken.
The cute face I would like to look at ,is the only reason I find going to class interesting.Though i could catch her only at the breaks,it gives
you ridiculously delicious fun to look at someone without getting caught at the act by your friend or god forbid the person whom you are looking at.I will never muster up the courage to speak to her and i am not sure i want to either.Looking at from outside is like enjoying the beauty without troubling about the consequences.I know she is intelligent and surely a nerd and a teacher's pet by her grades and attitude towards teachers but i would like to know more of her without talking to her cause I am nervous and stuff.Though my mood swings are becoming predictable to me ,anxious mornings and a good half hour into the first class of the day ,then the talk ,followed by an eagerly awaited break and then the completely frustrating second half , depression at full stretch during the walk to the lunch,then slightly better with
what is supposed to be a good noon meal but which never is and then followed by an obsession not to study though I always plan to and then go to the internet center or play carrom depending on the alternative offered first.Then at last guilt at not studying and then happy to go to s sleep after what is a long and tiring day.

HOLIDAYS

I spent the entire day surfing the net,sometimes chatting with my sis and with a great deal of luck and some search skills i managed to hack into the account of my friend and not only that changed his primary mail id and made him very angry and frustrated with me .I apoligised ,a bit over the top but nontheless just.I have to remind myself that the line I feel other people should not cross and what others feel about their lines are as widely different as you and I.May be I should stop messing around with people I know and keep myself to myself.Overreaction but some truth too.I should try to do something instead of thinking of doing something.Hope I learn to be a good hacker and publish a article someday

HOLIDAYS

having finished my sem,I am in my home spending my holidays.I would like this blog as my diary as no one but me is going to read it.I spent the day surfing the web and doing nothing of importance.As it is the first day of my holiday my mood is quite upbeat.I am quite dissappointed though ,as there is no STAR SPORTS in my home due to some cable problems and I could not watch french open as planned.I have planned to think of a story line during these holidays but not sure I will.I have did my last exam well and i am happy as the previous three exams were written on the verge of pass marks.I am not sure what I intend to make of myself.

MEDIOCRICITY

what you do when you are not good as you seem to think you are ?perhaps nothing.But it is frustrating.It is easy to say you have to accept what you are ,but doesn't it mean mediocre people can achieve nothing in their life.I don't think so.One argument is when you work hard you will succeed.But when you have compared your past results ,you will know better than what you are now and still have that iota of confidence that you can do it,but you have to accept the competition is tough and let go of your ego.

ANANDATHANDAVAM

I went to the movie willing myself to like it (as I was going to the film against the opinion of several friends who were quite sure the movie was bad)and almost managed to convince myself the film was good until 20 minutes into the movie.Tamanah is one of my favourite actress but her character which was supposed to be innocent wide eyed wonder,turned out to be a cross between stupid and innocence neither endearing nor acceptable only ended up being irritating.The hero's body language never seems to potray the anguish he feels over his lover choosing another man over him for marriage and his reluctance in letting her go.He just talks to her as if it is a duty.Rukmini the other heroine had good expressions and looked beautiful,but the awful story sequence and the dialogues were irritant.Sterotypes were reinforced as how an indian should feel in america and a potrayal of all the recent controversies such as school shootings ended up confusing the viewer about the point of all this ,when the hero was supposed to be in america trying to bounce back in life and at first sign of trouble decides to go back.To think this was adapted from a sujatha's novel is comical.

REVELING IN COMFORT ZONE

I am writing this at late night ,frustrated and happy at the thought I am doing nothing.Irritation is creeping over me in floods ,starting from my class which I whiled away playing games .But things are not looking up and I am in cross roads ,not being able to make up my mind what to do ,happily repeating the same thing(reading meg cabot mediator series ,,surfing the net) again and again both joyous and frustrated.I cannot snap out of this unless I face a dire situation ,like if there is a test tomorrow that I have to pass and I am happy to have scrapped anonymously and finding a reply to it from my secret crush.WHY CANT I CHANGE MYSELF? The reason is I am averse to change but somehow I should try to prove myself to either me or the world that I can be competitive ,but at the rating at i am going ,I will be happily sad that I will fail rejoicing at the failure and feeling the pain.

BEING GIVEN A CHANCE

SAYING IT ALOUD AND NOT

This has been a long period for me to start writing again.I am copying it from my notebook where I had written it in the class.I have often felt how I think about a person and what I say about him are instrumental in me judging a person.When I say What I think about a person aloud ,my outlook becomes rigid ,I start to see the person in terms of what I have said and thereby I do not see his actions as what they were meant to be.My opinions do not change easily as would have when I had kept to myself about what I thought of the person. Since no one knows of it when i keep my judgement to myself,the way I view a person becomes flexible and open to change.Politicians are called upon to give statements and they have to ,the views presented are at that point of time and when seen in the future it becomes a series of ridicules.The joke is that since I have written an article about not saying it aloud ,my thoughts will be based on my article.

FEDERER et al

I am writing this blog after federer lost to nadal in five sets in the australian open final.Federer broke down after the match.May be the pessimist part in me believes he will never win over nadal in another final,looking at my friend who is a intense nadal supporter grin in gleeand trying to be supportive,I can not but think how he is rejoicing at the nadal victory over federer and I hate him for that.But being a federer fan I would want him to win the french open this time,difficult but not impossible.I am ofcourse somehow touched by the breakdown and nadal's response to it("“Sorry for today,” . “I know how you’re feeling right now. It’s really tough.
“But remember you are a great champion, you are one of the best in history and you’re going to improve the 14 of Sampras.” )I cannot help but feel for the compassion in nadal,that I almost beleive he is soft,but alas that he is not.He is a warrior ,may be he is gald he has broken down federer but as was shown in french open final last year,he barely celebtrated after winning and I love him for that.May be when he is on the decline I can assure you that nadal will never make out excuses and will never show vulnerablity on court,he is a fighter and will always remain so.
FED may be down in dumps but he is a champion and you can never keep one down .remember when tiger was written off or for that matter sachin.HE WILL COME BACK