REVELING IN COMFORT ZONE

I am writing this at late night ,frustrated and happy at the thought I am doing nothing.Irritation is creeping over me in floods ,starting from my class which I whiled away playing games .But things are not looking up and I am in cross roads ,not being able to make up my mind what to do ,happily repeating the same thing(reading meg cabot mediator series ,,surfing the net) again and again both joyous and frustrated.I cannot snap out of this unless I face a dire situation ,like if there is a test tomorrow that I have to pass and I am happy to have scrapped anonymously and finding a reply to it from my secret crush.WHY CANT I CHANGE MYSELF? The reason is I am averse to change but somehow I should try to prove myself to either me or the world that I can be competitive ,but at the rating at i am going ,I will be happily sad that I will fail rejoicing at the failure and feeling the pain.